Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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