how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
