She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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