Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
