so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
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In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
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He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
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