it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
