you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize