I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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