I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
