help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
