Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
