ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
