take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
