My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
