Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
