My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
