Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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