coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She told me I should be a condom model.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
