Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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