I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
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i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
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We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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