I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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