Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize