First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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