just tell him i said nine months
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
