I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
