Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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