I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You need a sexual gate keeper
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
