Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
