You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
worst night to have a conscience
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So squirting runs in the family.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
