Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
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It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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