he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
