You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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