'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
