My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
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I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
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You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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