covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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