I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
