Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
