Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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