I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize