and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
