it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
