Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
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I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
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My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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