Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think I just sharted jello shots
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