wanna go halves on a baby?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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