so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
