Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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