Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
