Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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