people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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