Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize