yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
