At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
