The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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