DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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