so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
