i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
