Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
