they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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