Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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