at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize