She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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