bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
