I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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