I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
