It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
