It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
