its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
